


Dear Future Husband

by Fearlesskiki



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF, Tennis RPF
Genre: F/M, Flash Fic, Humor, I blame Meghan Trainor for this, M/M, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 15:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4267710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearlesskiki/pseuds/Fearlesskiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bastian and Ana have just got engaged. Ana decided to open up her views to Bastian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Future Husband

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really care about wags (with a few exceptions), but this stupid idea crack me up. Hahahaha... This is pretty much inspired by the song Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor and also some real life stories.
> 
> *Everything in this fiction is just a fandom and not related to the real people and brands stated in the fiction.*

It is a cooling evening at Ana's apartment. Bastian and Ana are chilling on a couch, cuddling while watching a film together after dinner. Bastian is eating Funny Frisch[1]. Ana doesn't want to eat because she thinks it will make her fat. In the middle of the movie, Ana takes out a piece of A4 sized paper and says

 

"Basti, I wanted to tell you something."

 

"What is that?" asked Bastian as he turns to her. He peeks at the piece of paper. The paper is full of words. This doesn't look good.

 

"Well, since we are getting married soon, I wrote you a letter." Ana continues.

 

"Really?" he asked. He felt slightly relieved after hearing that.

 

"Yup. Let me read it to you," she replied with a cheerful tone and then clears her throat to read the letter.

 

_Dear future husband Bastian Schweinsteiger,_

_Since we are getting married soon, here are a few things that you need to know. After we get married, I want you to surprise me with some flowers and chocolates from time to time. Tell me that I'm beautiful every morning and night, and I will give you a kiss. Don't forget the birthdays and anniversaries or you may kiss the bed goodbye. Be a gentleman and I will cook you black cod with miso[2]. But don't expect me to cook for you every day. _I'm also an athlete with a busy schedule, you know._ _And please remember that_ I'm not your maid. So don't expect the house to be in tip-top shape._

_Buy me a diamond ring and make sure the diamond is bigger than Maria Sharapova's because I can't stand losing to her again. She always beats me in tennis and I need to win her at something. I want that wedding cake Adriano Zumbo featured on Masterchef Australia and a special made Vera Wang dress. And also, get Katy Perry to sing at the wedding. Don't invite Thomas Müller to the party. Please don't even try to convince me. It's out of the question. You won't know what he will do. He might trip over and ruin my wedding cake, or spill juice to my dress. I can't take that. It's my wedding. My only wedding. So don't screw this for me in front of the paparazzi._

_Please ask your mom not to make that Eintopf[3] or whatever that is, if you still want me to visit her. I can't stand that smell. Don't say no when my mom asks us for dinner. If you're going to come to my games (which you should be whenever you're not playing yours), please tell me one day in advance what you will wear so I could match my racket with your clothes. Remember the last time you wore a grey shirt when I was playing in pink? Just eww... I would come to your games if I'm in a good mood._

_There will be strictly no sex during my menstrual period and also during Grand Slams. I might be acting crazy during that time so please be considerate and make me happy. And don't argue with me even when I'm wrong. But it won't happen cause I'm always right. Right? Oh, don't invite the boys to our house for games because I don't want spill beer stains on my carpet. It's gross._

_Since we're getting married what's yours is going to be mine, and what's mine is obviously mine. I will tell your boss to credit all your salary directly to my bank account. It would be more convenient for me to buy my favourite shoes. But don't worry, dear. I will give you 100 Euros per week so that you can eat, fuel up gas, pay bills and go for entertainment with the boys. I'm sure that's more than enough since you always eat and travel with the team, right?_

_Love me right and I will love you too._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Your future wife Ana Ivanovic XOXO_

After finish reading the letter, Ana looks up, but Bastian is nowhere to be found. She gets up from the couch and searches for her fiancee. "Basti? Basti?"

 

Suddenly, her phone rings. She picks up her phone and it is a text message from Bastian. She opens the message and it goes like this:

 

_Dear ex-girlfriend Ana Ivanovic,_

_When you see this message, I've already long gone from the apartment. I want to tell you that we're over. Since we are not going to get married, there are a few things you need to know. Firstly, don't bother to reconcile with me. We are never ever getting back together. I would appreciate if we don't see each other again. Don't even try to look for Lukas Podolski. Don't do anything to him. You'll be sorry if you do._

 

_Yours sincerely,_

_Your ex-boyfriend Bastian Schweinsteiger_

**Author's Note:**

> [1] Funny Frisch - A brand of chips in Germany. Bastian is a spokesperson for that chips.  
> [2] black cod with miso - Ana's favourite food. Just want to emphasize she only cooks what she likes  
> [3] Eintopf - a traditional type of German stew
> 
> Playlist:  
> Dear Future Husband - Meghan Trainor
> 
> It's Wimbledon season now =D 
> 
> I should be writing People Fall in Love in Mysterious Ways, but this distracted me. My initial planning was Mario/Ann-Kathrin. (She doesn't deserve the hate, though). But there are a few ideas flying around and I've decided to change to Bastian/Ana. And also because of some engagement rumours. Apologies for making Ana a control freak. Hahaha... I want to write tennis stories in the future, hopefully, I'm able to do it in the future. 
> 
> I might do a nice version of "Dear Future Husband" with another pairing. :)
> 
> If you like it please give me a kudos. Share it with your friends. Please tell me anything in the comments and I will try my very best to improve :) Every kudos, comment, subscription and bookmark means the world to me. Thank you :D
> 
> Yeah, you can follow me on [Tumblr](http://fearlesskiki.tumblr.com/) and [join the FBD Book Club!](https://footballblogsdirectory.tumblr.com/post/160746377878/welcome-to-the-fbd-book-club-this-is-a-place-to)


End file.
